October 18

This post is dedicated to my best friend in the world, Sachi Rebecca Cooper. I usually tell people to follow my people that get shout outs on my blog. Since she doesn't have a Twitter, you can follow her on Instagram...if you can find her. I don't know if I'm allowed to give out a username or not.

I want to set this story up well. I come out of the locker room in 1st period and go over to Caroline. "I want to say this without sounding mad at you," I begin.

This post is dedicated to Sachi because of the only drama that happened today. In Excel, I got called down to Ms. Gagen, the counselor's office. Upon my arrival, I found a sobbing Megan. Yes, this is another one of those posts about Megan. I did as I was told and had a seat.

"Megan was feeling pretty sad this morning and wanted to talk to you," Ms. Gagen said. Understate, much?

Megan: "Oh god, I'm probably just going to burst into tears while I'm saying this. I was texting Caroline last night and she told me that she was going over to your house on Saturday night for a sleepover to celebrate Dannii's birthday." Me: Shit.

Megan: "It just hurt that you didn't invite me because I always try my best to invite you to EVERYTHING." Me: And when was the last time I actually came?

Ms. Gagen: "Can you explain to Megan why you didn't invite her to the party? You didn't purposely exclude her, did you?"

Me: "No, no." Well, yes. "It's just that—" It's just that sentences that start like that are always lies. "It's just that, my dad didn't want me to invite too many people, because my mom's going to be out of town, and he didn't think he would be able to handle to many screaming teenage girls. So he told me I could only invite three people." See, I told you. Lies.

Me: "So, I invited Caroline and Sachi and Katie because they sent in things for the video. And there isn't anything from you in the video, I've seen it."

Megan: "But that's because I didn't know where to send my video clip, and I didn't even know I was supposed to make one."

Me: "Oh, yeah, that was my fault." Oops!

Ms. Gagen: "Why is that your fault?"

Me: "I didn't send her the link..." Like I said...oops!

Ms. Gagen: "Well, it looks like Grace made the decision pretty subjectively [does that make sense? I'm not sure that's the word she used], by who was in the video and who wasn't."

Ms. Gagen: "Is there anything else you'd like to say to Grace?"

Megan: "I guess at one point I thought I was a better friend to you than Sachi." Me: Bitch! I would give up the world for Sachi and you have never done shit for me! When there's a vaction from school, I think of Sachi, and I count down the seconds until I get to see her again. I think of you, and I thank God for the week off. This wasn't exactly what I thought at all, but that's what I'm thinking now that I should've been thinking then. It makes a nice addition.

That's where I'm going to stop. That's the important part. That's why this post is dedicated to Sachi. Because I love her, and that is probably the absolute worst thing I've ever heard Megan say about anyone. Even though, technically speaking, it was about herself. But still.

I just now realized that even though Sachi is the best friend I've ever had, ever, no one knows about it. I have my little circle of friends that I hang out with (Megan, Caroline, Maggie, Belle, CC, etc), and that's what I'm known for. Sachi has her little circle of friends (Elena, Jenny, Eva, Livia, Sophia, etc), and that's what she's known for. I get it. Sachi is way out of my league. Last year, she wasn't as much. She was gorgeous, but she was a nerd like me (not that she isn't still, haha). It was believable that we were friends. Me and her and Rae and Anna, we were the Unbeatable Four. That's really how I thought of us. Until Sachi and Rae had a fight...but that's another story. I still sat with my crowd at lunch, but I hung with them in my other classes. This year...it's so different. Sachi has risen to a whole new level of popular, one that I never knew existed. One that I'm actually jealous of. But it makes me mad that people don't know we're such good friends.

It's true, we do most of our communication via email. That's how I first met her. Last year, when I met her on Google Buzz, I did think she was uber popular. Then I realized she was just like me. Now I feel like she's too uber popular for me again. Maybe it's just a phase, though. Maybe, at the beginning of every year, I'll feel so left out of her life. Maybe it'll change as the year goes on. But my point is, I miss her. I keep count of the number of times she says hi to me in the hall. It's amazing that she does that, more than words can say. The best feeling in the world. I die a little bit inside the days that I don't see her at all. And no one knows.

Believe it or not, this post was about Sachi. It might've seemed like it was about Megan. It wasn't. It was about Sachi. After saying that, Megan doesn't deserve to have a whole blog post dedicated to her. Last remark: I'm not mad at her. She's not mad at me. It's all good. She's just a bitch.

It's the best feeling in the world where you center your life around someone and don't feel like they owe you a single thing. Not a text message, not a wave, not a two-minute conversation. All you need to know is that they're there. I like that feeling.

~Grace.